so thats that. time to move on with my life.

she told me what i needed to know. not now, not never. she said no, i wouldnt have a chance to get back with her. so i guess that is it. the road named jac has reached its end and now ... i HOPE im starting afresh.

going through everything has been a tough experience for me. a few hiccups here and there but look at me, semi suicidal chef lives on.

even though i feel like shit now. im holding it all in. but its just at the edge of bursting. it hurts. yes it hurts. it fucking hurts.